Before you create a profile on the online dating site, sign up for that singles activities club or walk into that singles bar, ask yourself this question, "Why am I looking for a partner?"
You may be thinking that it's a stupid question, but there are many answers besides the obvious. Of course everyone wants to be loved and to give love. But what if there are other reasons?
You may be bored with your life. Maybe you have no friends. Maybe your family lives far away and you feel isolated. Perhaps you're struggling with finances or you need a place to live. If any of these scenerios applies, then you should not be trying to date anyone.
A boyfriend or girlfriend is not going to fix your problem. A romantic partner should become part of your happy life, like icing on a cake. Your partner should not become your life or be the only basis for your happiness.
When I first meet a man, I want to know right away if he has friends and if he has hobbies. I don't want to be his only source of entertainment. I've had the unfortunate experience of dating men who had no social circles besides their families. Not one of them was new in town so they had plenty of time to make friends.
Each man had common behaviors. After the first date, he would form an unnaturally quick attachment to me. One even told me he loved me after the second date. I was not flattered by that but completely turned off. Who falls in love after the second date? Worse yet, who admits it?
The men without friends would call me constantly, even three to six times a day. Every day. It was smothering. I never got a chance to miss the guy or hope that he would call. Instead, I sat there hoping he wouldn't call!
I don't want to BE someone's life and be his only source of happiness. It's too much pressure. I want to be incorporated into an already full life. I'm busy and I expect my partner to be busy too.
My advice is that if you're expecting one person to fill a void in your life, don't. Go out and get yourself a hobby and some friends. Your next romantic partner will be more excited about being in your life.
You may be thinking that it's a stupid question, but there are many answers besides the obvious. Of course everyone wants to be loved and to give love. But what if there are other reasons?
You may be bored with your life. Maybe you have no friends. Maybe your family lives far away and you feel isolated. Perhaps you're struggling with finances or you need a place to live. If any of these scenerios applies, then you should not be trying to date anyone.
A boyfriend or girlfriend is not going to fix your problem. A romantic partner should become part of your happy life, like icing on a cake. Your partner should not become your life or be the only basis for your happiness.
When I first meet a man, I want to know right away if he has friends and if he has hobbies. I don't want to be his only source of entertainment. I've had the unfortunate experience of dating men who had no social circles besides their families. Not one of them was new in town so they had plenty of time to make friends.
Each man had common behaviors. After the first date, he would form an unnaturally quick attachment to me. One even told me he loved me after the second date. I was not flattered by that but completely turned off. Who falls in love after the second date? Worse yet, who admits it?
The men without friends would call me constantly, even three to six times a day. Every day. It was smothering. I never got a chance to miss the guy or hope that he would call. Instead, I sat there hoping he wouldn't call!
I don't want to BE someone's life and be his only source of happiness. It's too much pressure. I want to be incorporated into an already full life. I'm busy and I expect my partner to be busy too.
My advice is that if you're expecting one person to fill a void in your life, don't. Go out and get yourself a hobby and some friends. Your next romantic partner will be more excited about being in your life.
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